Homosexual relationships have been taboo in India for the longest time. Members of the LGBTQ+ community have often held back from coming out of the closet or openly having relationships due to the stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination still prevalent in our country.
The fight for equal rights by this community has been a long-drawn war that has made substantial progress but is nowhere close to being over. The decriminalisation of section 377 was a huge step forward for the LGBTQ+ community in India as it was no more illegal to be in homosexual relationships. However, that’s all it was. It merely said that it’s not illegal anymore, but it failed to legalise or constitutionally recognise homosexual relationships, cohabitation, and marriages.
This has had numerous consequences. People hide relationships from their family and friends, or often even lie about the nature of the relationship they share with their partner by merely referring to them as a “friend” or a “roommate”. However, in such scenarios, the individual still pursues the partner of their choice. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.
Often people are forced into lying to themselves and aren’t allowed to be who they truly are. They are made to suppress this part of their identity and are forced, or feel like they are being forced, into heteronormative relationships and marry people of the opposite gender. This leads to numerous problems and unstable relationships and marriages, with the spouses being unhappy, often suffering from mental health problems like depression, anxiety, or identity crisis and in some cases, having extramarital affairs.
Despite the suffering, individuals are often ready to compromise on their happiness and stick to heterosexual relationships to make people around them happy. They feel that what they’re doing is wrong or “unnatural” and the least they can do for their family is lead a “normal” life and produce a family. Unfortunately, many times forming a heterosexual relationship is also the only way individuals of the community can keep themselves safe.
When one’s family does not accept them as a part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, they are often subjected to extremely traumatic practices such as conversion therapy. In the Northern parts of India, women who come out as lesbian are raped by men, sometimes even by those belonging to their family, so as to make them “realise what they are missing out on” and recognise their sexuality.
Another common practice is that of honour killings. When an individual refuses to marry someone from the same strata of society or goes against the wishes and norms of the family, they are considered to be a disgrace to the family and are murdered in the name of saving the honour of the family. Therefore, many a time, pursuing and marrying heterosexual partners is the only escape and way to save their lives for an individual belonging to the LGBTQ+ community.
In addition to this, members of the LGBTQ+ community also face socio-cultural problems while pursuing same-sex relationships. They are often denied housing, recognition of being partners, entry into certain places, shamed and attacked for public display of affection and are victims of catcalls and numerous stares everywhere they go. Many of them stick to heterosexual relationships simply to avoid the difficulties and obstacles that come with being in a same-sex relationship or to “pass” the standards set by the society around them.
Worse than the treatment they receive by society, is the treatment or more like lack thereof on behalf of the government. The government still fails to recognise homosexuality and legalise gay marriages. Numerous politicians and ministers claim it’s “against our culture” and “unnatural” and should be forbidden in our country. (Read More: https://www.news18.com/news/india/opinion-how-bjp-and-congress-failed-the-lgbt-community-and-has-the-conversation-changed-1819647.html )
There have been a large number of politicians who have vehemently spoken against homosexual relationships in India on a public platform and have made remarks such as “immoral act”, “should be treated as a psychological case”, “not normal”, “against Hindutva” etc. They treat it like it’s a disorder that needs to be cured. However, while saying it’s against Hindutva they don’t realise that their own scriptures have often cited examples and instances of same-sex relationships. (Read More: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/being-gay-is-against-hindutva-it-needs-a-cure-bjp-mp-subramanian-swamy/articleshow/64927333.cms )
In the temples of Khajuraho, there are multiple depictions of women embracing each other and men showing each other their genitalia. In the Ramayana, Lord Shiva is said to have appeared in the dreams of two women and encouraged them to make love to each other in order to have a child. However, the Indian LGBTQ+ community is looked at with a narrow and biased perspective and are not acknowledged or given the same rights.
The treatment of people in same-sex relationships is quite ironic as numerous studies have shown that often LGBTQ+ relationships tend to be healthier as compared to heterosexual relationships. Division of labour, gender equality, role equality and responsibility, communication, and expression of sexuality are all factors among many others that tend to be much better and healthier in these relationships. The LGBTQ+ community isn’t afraid to follow unconventional relationship patterns as they are already against the norm and are being who they choose and want to be. It is time we stop denying them their rights, and instead of shaming or discriminating against them, learn to live and think outside the box that society has enclosed us in and accept who we are and would like to be.
