Understanding parenthood
Being a parent is a fulfilling experience for most of the people in their adulthood. It forms a significant part of a life of a person and gives an elated and gratified feeling. A person, when becomes a parent willingly dedicates a lot of time and efforts for the child. The child basically becomes the prime focus of a parent’s life and every decision at each step is generally taken for the betterment of the child. When someone becomes a parent for the first time, they learn how to be selfless and devote a significant portion of their life for their child.
There are no hard and fast rules for parenting but taking some steps can definitely make you a better parent.
Before becoming a parent, you are a partner and being there for your partner at the pregnancy stage is very crucial. A woman who is expecting a child goes through a lot of physical, emotional, and psychological changes and experiences a lot of emotions at once. One can feel petrified and nervous when bearing the first child thus it is important to be there for your partner and make her feel secure.
If you have chosen to be a single parent you should spend more time with people that care about you. It can be scary at the beginning but being a single parent is pretty common in today’s time. According to statistics, about 7% of children under the age of 18 live with a single parent. Other forms of parenting are also on the rise with divorced or separated couples as co-parents and same sex couples. Parenting is any form is challenging but equally amusing as well and reshapes the individual completely.
Pre-birth measures
The mental and physical health of parents generally affects the child in some or the other way. Like for instance, if the mother is not happy or healthy during the pregnancy stage it will have an effect on the baby too.
According to some studies and research, if the mother is facing stress over a longer period of time during pregnancy, it can lead to release of stress hormones like cortisol and its traces can also be found in amniotic fluid. A piece by Science Daily mentions that higher levels of stress can have an effect on the health of the expected child in later stages of life. Thus it’s important to regulate stress levels by either talking to a professional or with trusted family members.
Even after birth, postpartum depression is pretty common and affects about 50 to 65% women in Asian countries. It is suggested that if not diagnosed or treated at earlier stages, postpartum depression can also lead to detachment of mother from the child and other complex behavioral problems.
Read more about depression and child development: https://systematicreviewsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13643-019-1267-2
The phase after birth
After birth, it is important that the child has healthy emotional as well as physical development. If care is taken during pregnancy and post-partum period, generally the child born is healthy and experiences normal growth. This includes checking on stress and anxiety levels and also practicing meditation and resting adequately. Along with this breastfeeding is important for the health of the baby as well as the mother at least for a period of six months and it generally is the primary source of antibodies for the developing child.
It’s also necessary to keep yourself updated on all the vaccinations and blood tests that need to be carried out once the child has been born. At this stage a child is very prone to develop infections due to underdeveloped immune system and thus all precautionary measures are to be taken. In today’s world where every day a new infection is discovered it’s necessary to keep the home hygienic and safe for the child.
Raising a special child
Not all children in the world grow at the same pace and thus parents should not lose patience when the child lacks behind in developing skills like walking or speaking clear words.
Also, in some cases if there are unusual symptoms or disorders try and contact a professional rather than demoralizing yourself. It can be challenging to raise a child diagnosed with any sort of disorder or disease but you have to keep in mind that in this case the child needs more love and support from your side. Some parents also feel burdened when they are informed of the condition of the child and at times also chose to abandon the child.
In a recent movie Mimi it is highlighted how the parents when trying to have a child through surrogacy and when informed by the doctor that the expected child might have Downs Syndrome, the parents abandon the surrogate and the child. It’s unethical and morally inappropriate to ill-treat a child born with an abnormality or disorder. As a parent, you should care for your child after all it was your conscious decision to bring life in this world you should be well aware of this choice.
It can be very stressful and challenging to raise a special child or a child with a birth defect. But as the primary caregivers and a human, you should not give up on your child because of a disorder. You cannot prevent but definitely take some measures earlier to avoid such defects while pregnancy.
Avoid consuming alcohol, tobacco and maintain a healthy lifestyle and diet. Be updated on all vaccination shots and nutritional supplements as well. Being informed and prepared is the next step that you can take while planning a baby or during pregnancy. Some factors can increase the risk of developing a disorder like age, medical history of family, or consuming non-prescribed medications before or during pregnancy.
Acknowledging that it can be very hard for parents to cope and stay strong in some cases, there are millions other people dealing with similar problems and still face every challenge with courage. Efforts of such parents has to be well appreciated for attempting to provide a normal life and accepting their child as they are born. Check out some these YouTube channels to know more about raising a child with disorders.
- https://youtu.be/foFGW_700uw – Families with kids diagnosed with aging disease remain positive
- https://youtu.be/YQyOgcGxn70 – Genetic Disorders | Parents
Read more information on raising a special child:
- https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/baby-has-birth-defect.html
- https://raisingchildren.net.au/disability/school-play-work/play-friends/play-friendship-disability
Explaining Gender identity and roles to your kid
As the child grows up they start realizing gender differences and identities. As a parent you should not create any gender stereotypes for the child. Defining certain habits, chores, toys, traits or clothing to one specific gender can do more harm than you can think. From the very beginning it is somehow inculcated in young minds that women are more actively involved in household chores and parenting.
According to a report by UN ( https://www.un.org/en/desa/world%E2%80%99s-women-2020 ), globally women spend about thrice the time providing care for children as compared to men. Gradually parents should realize and teach that every human is equal regardless of their gender.
Kids are also told about bad touch and good touch at a younger age due to vulnerability and high statistics on child sexual abuse. Crime against young girls is definitely on the rise and they should be cautioned but male child abuse is also very prevalent. Males from a very young age are told that they are supposed to be strong and should not be very emotionally vulnerable. This makes the child more reluctant to admit any act of violation of their consent or understanding.
Generalizing traits to specific genders can send wrong messages and can stay with individuals for a long span of time even in adulthood. If the child believes and identifies that all genders are equal, it will help create a healthy mind for oneself and for others. Some parents can observe that the child is not able to fit in either of the two genders, give them space and time to develop and form their own opinions. The generalized norms establish that there are only two main genders – male and female based on biological grounds. But some individuals do not feel that they necessarily fit the gender they are assigned at birth. This can be termed as Gender Dysphoria.
Furthermore, as a person develops with age, they can also identify themselves as not belonging to either of the gender category and are termed as non-binary. Ridiculing a person based on their gender identity or choices can have a deep impact on their mental health as well, and parents should be more accepting of their kid’s decisions.
Watch this video for more information about How To Know If Your Kid Is Transgender: https://youtu.be/qJdafLVf6xo
Strict Parenting- Yes or No?
Today, parents want their children to participate and excel at every activity. It can prove to be constructive as the child is exposed to various activities and can then slowly develop one’s own interests with time. Some parents go out of the way and involve themselves too much in their child’s life. This does not allow enough space and kids have to do everything according to their parents.
Very often such parents are also overambitious regarding their child’s progress at school and constantly pester their children as well as their teachers and tutors. Amy chua, in her book defines this as ‘Tiger parenting’, a parenting form wherein parents are too much engaged in their child’s life to ensure that the child excels at academics and extra-curricular activities as well. This is occasionally also called ‘Helicopter parenting’, as the parents continuously try and keep a watch over their child and hover around them.
Parents push their kids to participate and outdo in sports, music, artwork and academics and if they fail to do so rebuke them or punish them. Parents should understand that kids should be raised in a way that brings out their true self and individuality. Achievements and academic success are important, but kids should not be forced excessively to perform well in everything. Everyone has their own learning pace and interests and expecting young kids to meet every need of parents is unjust. This can not only lead the kid towards experiencing stress at a younger age but will also affect their relationships with parents and other people around them. Children should have enough space so that they are able to develop their own thoughts and you should not be the one making all the opinions and decisions for your children.
A person can be born with physical or mental disabilities. In such cases parents generally pay attention and are more sensitive towards them. But in case wherein a person has a learning disability, parents neglect the fact and consider their child to be lazy or inactive. There are multiple learning disabilities that a child might be suffering from and this can be detected by a professional. If you observe your child facing problems only in one particular subject or learning a skill, it can indicate a disability and should be diagnosed and treated. Studies suggest that learning disabilities like Dyslexia affects about 15 to 20% of population. Many similar disabilities happen to delay the learning process of the child. As a parent you should not panic or lose hope, your child needs your support and time.
There are many examples of successful people who used to or still are struggling with such disabilities. Tom Cruise is one of many successful actors in Hollywood and suffers from dyslexia. Albert Einstein is also believed to have suffered from various learning disabilities but later received a Nobel Prize for his theory. These disabilities cannot be a hindrance to one’s success and intellect.
More about learning disorders:
- https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/learning-disorder.html
- https://www.waldenu.edu/online-masters-programs/ms-in-psychology/resource/seven-learning-disabilities-every-psychology-professional-should-study
Conclusion
In conclusion parenting is a very broad conception and everyone has their own understanding and approach towards it. As kids grow up, they start developing their own opinions and parents should accept that there will be times when their kids do not agree with them. Respect and trust your child’s decisions and choices and guide them wherever necessary.
