Many teenagers are anxious about their first time. The hush hush among teenage girls and boys when talking about sex has always been the hot topic especially when in high school. Though, however hot the topic is precautions are very important when it comes to sex. It is vital to know about sex before actually doing it.
India lacks sex education because it has always been a taboo to talk about sex in Indian society. Neither our parents nor our teachers taught us about the right time to have sex or the precautions we need to take. This is the reason why many teenagers end up making the mistakes involving sex and young girls often end up getting pregnant.
According to a 2012 study by the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, if the first sexual intercourse occurs before age 15 it’s considered ‘early’, if between 15 and 19 it is considered normative and if it occurs after the age of 19 it is considered ‘late’. ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK545476/ ). But do not let this study pressurize you on having sex. The right time is when you are ready. But there are few things to consider when you’re planning to be sexually active before adolescence.
18, an ideal age to have sex?
Though it is not mandatory that you should be sexually active only after 18 but there few reasons why 18 or 18+ is considered to be an ideal age to be sexually active.
Boys go through changes when they hit puberty, their testosterone levels increase and they around this age usually begin to understand what erections are. Also boys are emotionally immature around the age of 15 or 16 than girls which makes them more likely to take haste and irrational decisions involving sex.
Girls go through variety of changes during the age of 16 or 17, and at this age their bodies are still underdeveloped. Some research has proved that males who are sexually active at early age are more prone to be aggressive and anti-social. Females, who are early on sex, are more likely to fall under depression than late starters.
What is safe sex?
Safe sex is a sexual activity that doesn’t involve exchange of semen, vaginal fluids or blood between partners or use of condoms or devices to avoid the risk of transmitting or acquiring sexually transmitted diseases. According to many health care providers every sexual contact carries some form of sex so the only safe sex is no sex at all. (https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/safe-sex)
Condoms are considered as the best protection against STDs and reduce the risk of pregnancy. Though, condoms do not guarantee 100% protection against STIs or unplanned pregnancy. (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms)
Guidelines for Safer Sex:
- To reduce risk of acquiring STIs, have sex with only one partner whom you have known for a longer period of time.
- Always use condom.
- Get tested regularly to know if you’re STI free.
- To avoid pregnancy other types of contraception are recommended but don’t overuse it as contraceptives can have some effects.
Do Not Give In To Peer Pressure!
We live in a generation where being a virgin is considered “un-cool”. Teenagers who are not sexually active often become the target of mockery, humiliation and sometimes even bullying. In this “hookup culture” (https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/ce-corner) being a virgin sometimes can be frustrating and embarrassing. Teenagers often fall under depression or start self doubting.
According to a survey by Kaiser Family Foundation, one in three boys aged 15-17 years admitted that they feel pressure to have sex compared to 23% of girls. The report said “Changing social norms and cultural expectations as well as delayed marriage means many young people have multiple sexual relationships in their lifetimes and need the information and tools to make healthy decisions and communicate with their partners”. (https://www.thebodypro.com/article/teens-report-peer-pressure-sex)
Teenagers need to remember not everyone their age is having sex. There are many teenagers out there who are virgins and that is nothing to be ashamed. The only right time to have sex is when you feel comfortable. Teenagers need to understand that having sex or not solely depends on them and no one can pressurize them to make the decision. Do not have sex just because you want to become popular among your peers or because you are the only virgin in your friends group. The only way you can resist peer pressure is when you understand your feelings and what you actually want.
Conclusion
Sex can be very personal and sacred to some people. For others sex is not “big of a deal”. We all have different perspectives on sex. Sex can emotionally attach people. We tend to feel more comfortable with our partner after sexual intercourse. Some people have sex with no strings attached often classified as “friends with benefits”.
No matter what sex is for you, the most important thing to remember is the fact that you’re comfortable with your partner and sex overall. There are many religious beliefs and societal norms on this very topic. We are often made to believe that we should marry the person whom we have our first sex, especially women.
Virgin worship is still prevalent in our society. We need to remember sex doesn’t bind us eternally. It is solely our decision if we want to marry the person or not. Sex does not define or break our religious or spiritual beliefs or foundations. Lastly, your comfort comes first. Only have sex when you are fully ready and do not forget to follow above mentioned precautions. Always have “safe sex”.
