“The word “NO” is a sentence in itself. It doesn’t require any kind of explanation; each and every gender should realize the value of “NO”. It doesn’t matter if the person saying this, is an acquaintance, girlfriend, sex worker or your own wife.” This very known dialogue from the movie Pink speaks volumes and is totally appropriate looking at what is happening around all of us.
What is consent? We have heard so much about it but do we all know what is exactly portrays? Consent is an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activities. Communication is highly called for when two or more partners engage in any kind of sexual activity. Having each other’s consent leads to common understanding between both the partners of each other’s boundaries.
The word “no” is taken very lightly in our daily lives too, while a person is involved in any form of sexual activity it is necessary to take consent from the other partner too.
Not having consent from any of the partner is the main cause of rape and other harassment issues around the globe. People usually feel that showing dominance and not asking for permission before engaging in sex is manly of them, but honestly it is the worst that one can do. It’s just a simple question before jumping onto sex, it should be taken seriously and given importance.
No matter what the other person says, their answer should be valued and respected; throwing yourself on them even after they say “no” is not healthy and respectful. It doesn’t matter who that person is, a female, male or any other gender from the LGBTQ community, a simple “no” should only lead to them stopping and no forcing any further; there also shouldn’t be any room for discussions or second chances, a simple “no” clearly indicates you to STOP.
Consent means that you are voluntarily and enthusiastically willing to indulge yourself in a sexual activity with any gender of your choice. Sexual consent must be explicit and you should know the thoughts of your partner before indulging in sex, assuming things only lead to the worse case scenarios.
The other partner should also be aware of the fact that if you said “yes” for a particular activity today doesn’t necessarily mean you will say “yes” for every sexual activity afterwards. For example, agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t mean you’ve said “yes” to someone taking your clothes off. Likewise, giving or receiving oral sex with someone in the past doesn’t mean that you want to do that again or have any sexual contact at all with that person in the future.
Assuming your partner’s answer without having his/her/them say it is illegal; the person may not always say “no” but they may turn it down by saying “I’m not sure,” or “let’s take it slow”, these don’t give you the right to force yourself on them, this just means that they are not interested to have any kind of sexual interaction with you at the moment.
If someone seems unsure, stays quiet, moves away or doesn’t respond – this is not consent. Many people who have experienced sexual violence find that they were unable to move or speak – this is a common reaction.
Taking consent while the other partner is sleeping, drugged or drunk, is not counted as a “yes” or as a “no”. If the other person is not comfortable and doesn’t say anything, make sure you stop right there, bullying, assaulting or threatening to give you consent or say “yes” is also illegal and should be avoided completely. Communicating with your partner before asking for consent is crucial, this would also make them comfortable and help build trust in you.
