Educating about sex to your children can be a bit awkward and difficult to initiate at first. But considering how important it is to share this information, parents must find a way to convey it. Sex education involves teaching about a lot of aspects and it is not possible to comprehend all at once for children. Thus, accordingly plan, discuss and take one step at a time. First there is a need to understand your child’s age and accordingly deliver the appropriate information.
Handle with affection and warmth
Children when reach puberty are a lot more sensitive and might require additional care. When you as a parent are planning to educate or talk about sexual matters, firstly do it where you both can feel at ease and are absolutely comfortable.
Build a healthy communication with the child and try talking like a friend. Ask if the child feels insecure or is facing any issues. Early or delayed puberty, abnormal uterine bleeding (AUB), wet dreams, delayed growth, are some common problems that are observed during adolescence.
They also may have some idea of it or any wrong perceptions, so first try and clear about what they already know. Answer their questions about puberty, body image and sexual orientation. They may also start sharing about their emotional and sexual interests, therefore be patient and be a good listener. Support and comfort your child as and when required.
Take small steps
Children approaching teenage are more curious about babies and pregnancy. They always ask questions on baby bumps or childbirth. So first try and curb this curiosity of theirs and then slowly move forward to other aspects.
It’s important to know what information to deliver and the approach towards it also matters. It should be a well centered approach covering all the aspects of sex education. It can be more of an interactive session and let the child ask questions.
Maintain an optimistic appeal and try teaching simpler concepts first. Before explaining sex, they should be taught about sexual growth and hormones that play a role in it. They should be explained about reproduction in detail. These changes take place because body is preparing itself for reproduction. They will definitely relate this information because they themselves experience changes at puberty.
During puberty, a female will have to go through menstruation, some body parts like breasts and hips can grow and can significantly flummox their thoughts at such a young age. In case of males voice becomes heavier and sexual organs grow. Discussing this will make it easier for children to relate actual facts with reality. For some the changes can be daunting and discussing it with someone can really help.
Make it simpler to comprehend
Don’t impart all of the complicated information at once. Deliver easier facts first and ask questions. Dedicate some part of the day over dinner or evening time to discuss and interact about sexual knowledge. By now if they know about reproduction, they’ll probably wonder about the mechanisms and how do they take place. So initiate by briefing them about the changes that are bound to take place or already are happening during puberty.
It can be difficult for children to understand a lot at once so try with simpler things like anatomy and physical changes that teenagers go through. Development of sexual organs, body hair, and menstruation can be taught at first. These changes take place because now their body is growing and preparing itself.
Menstruation is one of the significant change and should be taught about in detail. Educate about it because it’s crucial regardless of the gender. It can help reduce the stigma that revolves around menstruation and gender disparity. It’ll also help males when they are confronting someone who is menstruating. It could be their own mother or sibling or any classmate and it can help with better interaction.
Use digital tools or anatomical diagrams
Teaching a topic using visual aids or diagrams is a recommended choice. It can help teenagers perceive the information in a simplified manner.
If you yourself are not able to come up with relevant content you can try consulting a health professional or qualified teacher to convey it to your child. At times, a child might feel hesitant talking to their parent therefore reaching out to an expert can be good for both parents and children.
Some safer websites and video tutorials can be used for giving detailed information on healthy sexuality. Also understand that teaching about sex does not mean that you are promoting your child to indulge in it. It’s just about teaching important facts so that the individual can later make informed choices, when sexual maturity is attained.
Check out these online sources for quality information on sexuality: https://amaze.org/
5 Online Tools That Give Teens the Sex Ed They Need: https://brightthemag.com/5-online-tools-that-give-teens-the-sex-ed-they-need-fa4fcb6d5c57
Safer sex practices
Also with adulthood approaching, a significant fraction will experience some sort of sexual encounter. It becomes imperative to talk about safe sexual practices.
From a factsheet by WHO, an estimated 21 million girls aged 15–19 years in developing regions become pregnant and approximately 12 million of them give birth. This implies that teenagers should be taught about contraception and safe sex. This will not only prevent unwanted pregnancies but also prevent the risk of STDs. Despite this, talking about sexual orientation and interests can help them.
A lot of teenagers in school are mocked for having interest in the same gender. In a country like India, homosexuality was against the law until 2018. So an individual is bound to feel insecure about sharing it with anyone. Parents should broaden their mind and accept their child’s interests. In this progressive society we need to understand that every individual is bound to have different perspectives and preferences.
As we grow, we aspire to be independent and make our own decisions. As a parent you can only influence your child’s decision making. Thus it’s necessary to give detailed and authentic information. A well-educated and aware person will probably take prudent decisions.
Teaching consent
Teenagers are too naive to understand consent and sexual abuse. Parents should make them understand about consensual and non-consensual touch.
Nearly 50% of boys and girls, each, face sexual abuse in their young lives, in India, according to a survey by the Ministry of Women and Child Development.
It becomes necessary to try and prevent this form of abuse. At a critical age like adolescence online sources can influence their perception about sex. Introduce your child to safer and trusted sources of information. Sometimes trusted elders like teachers can abuse and take advantage of children.
A news article by India Today mentions that according to a study by the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) in 2017, about 53 per cent of kids surveyed reported having faced one or the other form of sexual abuse. Intricate attention and observation is required from parents. Parents cannot be present everywhere and hence teaching about consent and abuse is crucial.
National schemes for delivering sex education
ADOLOSCENCE EDUCATION PROGRAMME: It is a joint initiative by Ministry of Human Resource Development (MHRD) and National AIDS Control Organization (NACO), Government of India, to equip every adolescent (child between 10-19 years) with scientific information, knowledge and life-skills to protect themselves from HIV infection and manage their concerns pertaining to reproductive and sexual health
RASHTRIYA KISHOR SWASTHYA KARYAKRAM: The Ministry of Health & Family Welfare has launched a health programme for adolescents, in the age group of 10-19 years, which would target their nutrition, reproductive health, and substance abuse, among other issues.
Source:
- Adolescence Education Programme (AEP): https://journalsofindia.com/adolescence-education-programme-aep/
Finally, sexual curiosity, attraction and everything is normal and happens to everybody. Try and assure your child that he or she can come to you regarding any problem. Some may have wet dreams or continuous urge to masturbate and it happens to a lot of teenagers and is normal. Make your child feel secure about their sexual growth and let them know you are constantly present for their support.
- Some things to keep in mind as a parent while delivering sex education: https://sexedrescue.com/myths-and-facts-about-sex/
- Ideas to initiate sex talk with children: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2Aa16laoE8&list=PLEDnP0ud0ZBjwM_Nim8jLqlcTjQHn2XmY&index=2
