Single parent families are quite different from dual parent families living under the same roof. There reasons vary for being a single parent. They might have chosen this lifestyle, death of the spouse, divorce or separation. There are numerous challenges faced by the single parent that vary according to the circumstances, however common experiences are noticed and experienced by most single parents.
Single parenthood is a social phenomenon which has been in existence since mankind. It refers to the work or skill of a solo parent in raising child/ children through the thorough performance of both father & mother tasks. Therefore, single parenthood is the act of training a child or children handedly, carrying out the duty of child upbringing alone.
Difference between Single and Dual parenting
They both differ in many ways, but the most common difference – how the parent interacts with the child? In dual parenthood, mother and father usually decide and work together on what are the terms on running the household, whereas in single parenthood, trips during the holidays, household purchases and also family purchases are more likely to be discussed with the child or children.
Single parents may have more responsibilities and duties during the earlier age of child/ children, simply because there isn’t any other adult around. The single parent may feel stressed because they try to achieve the sole breadwinner title and being a perfect parent and fulfilling both the holes where they have got just 24 hours in a day.
As Jackie Kennedy famously stated, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.” So, no pressure there.
The Art of Being a Single Parent: https://democraticnaari.com/2021/07/04/the-art-of-being-a-single-parent/
Building positive relationships while being a single parent
Positive families tend to make children feel secure and loved, while ultimately leading to a great bond.
- Making the most of everyday moments.
- Make one-on-one time, more than one child schedules a time to hangout alone with each every now and then.
- Quality time anywhere and anytime – singalong during car rides, funny and emotional life story sharing every now and then.
- Praise your child, “I’m really proud of you”, and all can enhance a meaningful happy relationship.
- Be interested, make them feel that they must not hesitate before sharing anything.
- Take their interests into consideration – books, sports, music, etc etc.
- Ask your child to show or teach you how to play their favorite board or app games.
- Smile, hug and laugh with your child often, having that intimate relationship can be a refresher.
Encouraging good behavior
- Acknowledge feelings – help them analyze their feelings, ask them to put it into words and understand what they’re going through. Put yourself in their shoes and respond respectively.
- Try to be consistent – having consistency in a relationship can be really helpful but also keep yourself calm and don’t react to situations immediately.
- Create clear rules – have a sit down with your child and let them know about the family rules, and also take their opinions into consideration.
- Choose your battles – dealing with discipline issues, will help you choose the battles with understanding specifically the issue you both are going through.
It’s true that it often takes a village to raise a child. But the reality is that for some, not just a village there is no partner to share the labor, no one to contribute in their efforts or anything for that matter. They not single handedly just battle with the schedules, finances, playdates and school but also the stigma of being a single parent and especially a single father.
Single father is as tough as being a single mother
Whether you split 50-50 custody or go solo full time, being a single parent is a tough job. This all might seem cute and easy in movies and sitcoms, but in real life ‘the struggle is real’ and people do their best to juggle it all. The real challenges, real guilt and those situations just don’t wrap up in an hour.
Single fathering is really hard for men out there, men are not brought to be empathetic or raised to nurture. Men don’t tote babies when they’re little or are hired to babysit the neighbour’s children in their teens. They’re pushed to physical activities, sports and etc etc. those activities that emphasize the testosterone factor rather than help them learn how to balance it when dealing with the more ‘feminine’ aspects of humanity.
Choose your lifestyle
Stress can be more likely in your daily attitude from time to time.
- It’s important to manage your stress with healthy coping strategies.
- Build a support network
- Taking consultation/ therapy
- Workout – exercise, dance, yoga, etc
- Meditation can be potential outcome to keep your nerves calm
- Anything that possibly helps you reduce stress, anxiety or even depression and go for what will not affect much of your comfort zone.
Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong.
The journey is going to be rocky, that’s where fun is right? You learn, you grow, you communicate and find a balance. There are going to be moments where you’d have done better or handled better. But what’s done is done and that turbulence was required to come along this far.
Take Adventures
Well it’s easy to fall into routine when faced with time consuming duties and responsibilities.
- Financial concerns can be a deterrent to doing frivolous activities, but you don’t always need them.
- Having adventures that you and your child would remember for a lifetime is important.
- Exploring even the neighborhood parks, spending as much quality time as possible together can be thought provoking.
- Take help of the internet, pinterest the lists – TO DO LIST which will give you ideas and help nurture and create a close bond.
Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad.
Ann Gedes
Being a single father to a daughter can be a handful, but it’s not impossible. Fathers set a perfect example for their daughter. What kind of and how a person should treat her. Father has this huge responsibility to set an example that will affect her daughter’s choice overall.
We know a girl hit puberty around 12-13 years of age, menstruation should be a common knowledge and hopefully a father discusses this with his daughter before she comes running to him stressed about the red thing in her pants. The panic of budding breasts really hurting and how the need of bra is near. All this talk should be open to communication by at least 10 years of age and the father should not feel ashamed, which will successively help his daughter to interact without hesitation.
Here’s an article that will help inspire fathers, that single fathering is a journey that can be lived and appreciated at the same time. ( https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a27998629/single-fathers-dads/ )
Babies don’t come with an owner’s manual. Remember even if they’re biologically yours you can’t do it exactly the way your parents did. Your child has it’s trait, let them grow and see who they become. Then help them be who they are and throw in the basic morals and rules.
Parenting is not just all about rules and expectations, it’s also about the special bond, the journey and to pay attention to petty matters. Don’t be fixated on everything, some things need to mend with the flow.
Take a deep breath and let go of your expectations, it takes time to blend in, enjoy the journey and pay attention to the moments. Cut yourself some slack, it’s a tough job. Everyone makes mistakes, but here it’s with positive intention and love and you’ll definitely make it through. If it’s not going well then reach out for some help, no shame in their brother.
