Shaming. People seem to find pleasure in shaming others. Terms such as slut-shaming and body-shaming have become so common that we are at the point of ignoring them. But have you ever thought about why people find such pleasure in shaming others? Perhaps the answer lies in the old saying that goes something like this: “Sometimes it’s necessary to stand on the head of another to make oneself appear taller”.
A disgusting variant in shaming is breast shaming. According to society, breasts are either too small, too big, too saggy, or too asymmetrical. Carrying a mass on your chest which is totally normal biologically has become an object to made fun of and judged. They are shamed due to their shape, size, and deep cover or even while breastfeeding. Be it small or huge, women are solicited with unusual names, looked down upon, catcalled by anyone including their loved ones.
For women, the struggle with breasts starts from the young age of 13. A girl, who is at the genesis of her teenage years, is already given a set of instructions to manage her breasts. It all starts with being asked to cover it with a cloth and wearing a garment that covers and supports it – a bra. Not wearing outfits that will enhance her breasts. If you have bigger breasts, it’s a crime to step out of the house without covering your breasts with a shawl. And above all, she is taught to save her boobs for her ‘would-be man‘ and to keep it away from any other contact.
If you ever wear a top showing your cleavage, it’s like showing a red cloth to a bull in a bullfight. You will get judged by everyone on everything. Your character, the kind of job you do the kind of people you surround yourself with, and when people run out of topics to judge at, they will judge your family and the way you were brought up. People will go to any level to make you feel like nothing.
Why is our society obsessed with breasts?
For every Bollywood movie, people want a female to wear a deep-neck blouse and win the audience at the box office. For every commercial and launching of products, they want a woman to appear in a dress to launch their products. From posters to a porn star, this patriarchal society taunts women with perfect chest size.
Why is it that our breasts, which mark the beginning of a painful journey of womanhood for every girl, are only viewed through a physical lens? I don’t get why people like to think that having “perfect boobs” is a compliment. You have no idea how many women compliment “You’ve got nice boobs” or “I wish I had your boobs” or wistfully look at another’s breasts. And why are flat-chested women not considered to be marriage material?
A few reasons are good branding, media fuels people’s obsession with breasts, porn, etc.
Why are women unhappy with their breasts?
According to a study in the journal ‘Body Image’, data from 18,541 women in 40 different countries answered questions as part of a Breast Size Satisfactory Survey (BSSS). It included questions about their ideal breast size, how they felt about their breasts, and their overall breast health.
And after analyzing the data, it is revealed that nearly 71% of women were dissatisfied with their breast size. It’s not exactly shocking that the majority of women are dissatisfied with their breasts since beauty standards are given the most importance in our society these days. But the researchers also discovered that women who were unhappy with their breast size were most likely to say they didn’t practice good breast size.
This is a serious public health concern because it has significant implications for the physical and psychological well-being of women
Viren Swami, A Professor of Social Psychology
Another big cause is unrealistic expectations on social media. The biggest social media platform that is behind this cause is Instagram. Instagram is a place where everything is supposed to be perfect. People often compare themselves to Supermodels and celebrities. What people need to understand is that not everything you see on Instagram is real. It takes a whole crew of people including Stylists, Makeup artists, Hairstylists who work to make the person look ‘perfect’. So you need to stop comparing yourself with celebrities.
On the bright side, people on Instagram are making sure to let people know that everything on Instagram is not real. Every body part is beautiful. And this includes your breasts. Every boob is beautiful be it small, huge, saggy, or asymmetrical.
Why do mainly teenagers comment on breasts?
Be it boys or girls, in teenage no one, can stop commenting about breasts. The reason for men to comment is their sexual fantasies. For teenagers, it may be normal to watch porn but when you start comparing a professional pornstar to a normal girl, it is completely not acceptable. Porn is one of the biggest reasons why people breast shame. It is a world of perfection but you shouldn’t forget that they are professional people and you shouldn’t let it interfere with our everyday life.
An example of this could be the recent “Bois Locker Room” Instagram scandal. This scandal revolves around 27 male members who are all students of 11th and 12th grades. They posted photos of teenage girls without their consent, along with offensive comments. These “offensive comments” included comparing those teenage girl’s breast size and making fun of those with small breasts and slut-shaming those with big breasts. I mean why are a girl’s breasts a topic to be discussed by a bunch of men? Why is a biological part of a woman which is completely normal used to judge a women's character and make rape threats? Several conversations also showed members talking about sexually assaulting their classmates. This incident sparked debates and controversy about the existence of rape culture and the normalization of rape, misogyny, and objectification in schools.
And for teenage girls, the reason is peer pressure. Young adolescent girls hear things like:
“Why are they so big?”
“Don’t wear sleeveless tops, they make them look bigger.”
“Do you have more than one male partner? Because they are quite huge and it’s not normal.”
“You’re so flat that you have nothing to offer a man.”
Can you imagine the psychological effect statements like this will have on a girl? I mean it will hurt the most if statements like this are said by our family or friends. Why is it that our breasts are never truly ours? Everyone will have a say on them but you. It’s no longer a body part of yours since everyone has an opinion on how to maintain them.
A lot of women also think that having unequal breasts is not normal. But it is actually a very common thing. There are many reasons why breasts can change in size or volume, including trauma, puberty, and hormonal changes. Your breast tissue can change when you’re ovulating, and can often feel more full and sensitive.
Another recent thing that I came to be aware of is that women who are victims of breast cancer are being shamed for it. It is a quite disgusting thing, to be honest. Women are being blamed for having a dangerous disease like cancer which is the cause of nearly 10 million deaths every year. It varies from case to case but when a woman is affected with cancer, a part or their entire breast is removed. And women are being shamed after beating a deadly disease like cancer.
Apparently, since women have lost their breasts, they have lost their womanhood. In fact, in some cases, the victims themselves feel so. People should understand that their ‘womanhood does not lie in a body part’. Womanhood should be something that lies in their heart.
What can we do to stop breast shaming?
This is something I don’t have a definite answer for. Because we can stop breast shaming only when everyone collectively stops doing it. Everyone has got to take a step and stand for this.
People have no idea how much breast shaming affects a woman’s mental well-being and self-esteem. We need to be more vocal about topics like breast shaming, periods, and rape culture. We live in a generation where everyone wants to be an Instagram influencer. So if you are a celebrity, Instagram Influencer, or someone with an audience be it big or small, please do your part to stop breast shaming. Celebrities like Miley Cyrus, Sofia Vergara, and many more have spoken up about breast shaming.
Breast shaming has a lifelong effect on women and IT HAS GOT TO STOP. People do not have the right to comment on anyone’s bodies. There is no need to share your opinion on how they should be dealing with their bodies because everyone has different bodies.
Men feeling the need to “compliment” someone’s shape and ogling at someone’s chest is not a compliment but they are actually thinly veiled sexual harassment. We, women, did nothing to grow our boobs. We deserve no shame nor do we want any sort of credit. No one asked you for your opinion on their bodies so thank you but keep it to yourself.
For women, breast size is a fair topic of “friendly envy and trash-talking“. Take a minute to gather yourself and think about the body confidence issues you have. If you are not happy with your breasts you can get surgery no one is going to judge you. But stop breast shaming your fellow women. Do whatever makes your life better. We women have enough things to fight for like gender equality and sexual harassment, so let us not turn on each other and instead stick together.
So be it small, big, saggy, or asymmetrical, every boob is beautiful. There is absolutely no need to shame a woman for the size of her breasts. Since women are much more than their breasts.
