couples tend to stay together in unhappy marriages democratic naari
Health & Relationships

Why couples tend to stay together in unhappy marriages

Why would a couple choose to stay in an unhappy marriage? Well, marriages in India are a one-time traditional commitment between two people as Indians have strong beliefs when it comes to cultures, traditions, and values. There are several factors that prevent couples to separate even when they are in unhappy marriages. 

Moreover, India is a country that has the lowest divorce rate in the world. Sounds like a good thing for India right? Well not really. Divorce is a big societal taboo in India and is one of the factors forcing couples to stay in unhappy marriages. In this article, let’s see some of the reasons why couples tend to stay together in unhappy marriages.  

Reasons behind unhappy couples staying together

For the Indian society, marriages are very sacred and a bond for a lifetime. Therefore, divorces in India are out of the question for the couple for varied reasons. Here are some of the reasons why unhappy couples stay together.

1. Family and societal pressure

The most common reason why couples tend to stay together in unhappy marriages is because of family and societal pressure. Indian marriages are never only about the two people coming together, but it is about their families. Therefore, when divorce is in question, the families of the couple are always the factor. Couples feel the need to answer questions such as “What is everyone going to think, after all these years?” or “What are the families going to do?” 

Indian marriages are all about family’s honor, grandparent’s last wish, pride, dreams, and let’s not forget the families spending a large amount of money on weddings. This societal pressure from relatives and family members force the couples to stay together. 

2. For their children

Another important reason why couples elect to stay together is just for the sake of their children. The children’s needs are placed before the happiness of a couple. Therefore, Indian couples may find it hard to separate if they have children together. The divorce is again out of the question when it is about how child custody is going to work in such a situation or how the divorce is going to affect the children. 

3. Financial instability 

Many women than men in India tend to stay in unhappy marriages because of financial instability. An astonishing number of Indian women are financially independent, which limits their options when it comes to getting out of an unhappy marriage. The women who are dependent on their husbands for financial stability have to sacrifice everything at the altar of patriarchy including her want to get out of a miserable marriage.

Financial instability plays a greater role at low divorce rates in India solely because women are not financially independent to support themselves. 

4. Religious beliefs

Indians have strong religious beliefs that even choosing for a divorce or separation becomes difficult if they are in an unhappy marriage. Many couples believe that it might be god’s wish or god’s way of testing their patience, and it is morally the right thing to do to stay in a commitment. Therefore, this is how religious beliefs affect the couple’s decision to move out of an unhealthy marriage. 

5. Fear of being alone 

The fear of staying alone may impact the decision of getting a divorce even for unhappy couples. Moreover, societal norms teach us that being single or alone is undesirable, and there should be someone to spend your life with. Therefore, many couples think that staying in an unhappy marriage is better than being alone. 

6. Uncertain future

The thought of spending life alone due to uncertain future possibilities is a fear for most couples, and it forces them to stay together in unhappy marriages. Many couples find the idea of second marriages daunting and intimidating. Moreover, if the couple has made long-term plans and goals together in the past, a divorce would mean starting from scratch and restructuring the life path. 

Conclusion

After all said and done, every person has the right to make their own decisions in life, and if you see a couple staying in an unhappy marriage, then it might be their personal choice after considering varied factors about how life will turn out after the divorce. 

However, life is short, and some risks in life may sound scary, but everything eventually turns out great. Scared of leaving your toxic partner? Do it anyway. Scared of what others are going to say? Do it anyway. 

Arfa Hussain Author at Democratic Naari

Arfa Hussain

I believe we all can make this world a better place to live in

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