Romantic relationships are a beautiful thing, especially for those, who are taking a step forward to a new journey in their relationship, where partners respect each other and give equal space to grow individually as well. However, sadly, not everyone gets to experience the pure unadulterated beauty of love. Unfortunately, not all partners are respectful towards each other and don’t treat each other with equality.
A healthy relationship is one where partners respect each other’s opinions and take their views into consideration, are transparent, trust and treat each other with equality. Dating violence has been a part of people’s life for a long time but it has been brought into broad daylight recently and headlines have been created to provide aid to such issues. But, alas, we all are hearing of violence against teenagers these days, it is also seen as a normative nature of one’s being. Sometimes people think they need to adjust in a relationship. That might be true to some slight degree, after all, you need to make compromises in any relationship but one needs to know when to say no or when to quit.
Dating violence is an ‘intimate relationship violence’, it just doesn’t exist in the present world relationships but it has been hiding beneath the sheets for so long in our society, in the previous dating or relationships. Dating violence is the perpetration of an act of violence by at least one person with a barbaric nature on the other member of an intimate relationship. IPV has its ranges of variation from one acute episode to a lasting chronic difference, which can have an immedicable effect.
Signs you’re facing dating violence
- Being forced to be intimate
- Getting stalked all the time
- Restricts you from being yourself
- Blames you over every tackle
- Forces you to send pictures, engage in sexting
- Uses your social media handles without your consent
- Disrespects you in public or frequently
- Threatening you by blackmailing you against your family
- Beats you
- Explosive temper
- Psychological manipulation
- Doens’t support you in your personal and career growth
If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused
Sandra Holrey
Characteristics
- Emotional abuse: Wrongdoer having a patronizing attitude; needs to regulate his partner’s ability to socialize particularly once it involves friends and family. publicly embarrasses and humiliates them
- Verbal Abuse: Shows a pattern of aggressive associate degreed dominating nature; exacting an undivided attention by terrorizing or belittling by creating them believe it’s out of affectionateness.
- Physical Abuse: Being subjected to physical attacks by their partner. The date has controlled them down, pushed them, or maybe punched, kicked or thrown things at them.
- Sexual Abuse: Forces the partner to interact in sexual activities, emotionally blackmailing partner for physical intimacy, trying to engage in sexual activity when the opposite person is underneath the influence of alcohol/medicine. Doesn’t care concerning the implications of the sexual act or however their partner feels concerning it.
- Psychological Abuse: Threatens the partner by victimization violence against them or against themselves, forces them to decide between the date and their family & friends. Instructs them on what to wear and the way to dress publicly. Shares any unreasonable information with outsiders or interacts in any questionable activity with the most popular/preferred sex.
- Stalking: In want of knowing wherever he/she is 24*7, demanding their social id’s passcodes and asking them to prove wherever they’re and with whom they’re with all the time and sharing live locations.
Dating violence in India is still chose to be not Recognized
Dating violence has been normalized in today’s world, because it’s not just family who may have provoked their child to believe that being dominative is necessary in this cruel world, it’s also the environment you share with the outside world and social media. Yes, being dominant might help you guide you to your destination, but there’s always a place and mannerism of being so. It’s a crestfallen ( sad and disappointed ) truth of our society that people choose to neglect it and continue believing in their favorable manner.
It’s so doleful to see that our society has an orthodox mindset, sees violence as normal, either it may be from one’s It’s so doleful to see that our society has an orthodox mindset, sees violence as normal, whether it may be from one’s own family or outside. The patriarchal society has always asked women to compromise, adjust and remain silent while men can be dominating and abusive howsoever they please to be. A society which chooses not to believe in domestic violence, how will it believe and accept teen dating violence. Violence in any form creates an immense impact on human beings, which they can/may channel on others.
This is the reason there’s a need for awareness among children and parents. Educational institutions may have improved with age, but sex education is still ignored in almost all schools, colleges, and even by parents. Later on, society is quick to blame the students/children without understanding their changing hormones and sensations at such ages. “No one can make you feel inferior, without your permission”, where does this statement go when teenagers are being abused on an almost daily basis in this cruel world.
Why don’t people come forward and help them talk to us without hesitation, because the mentality is still the same, just for the sake of saying they say ‘we understand‘. Not just parents but also friends, families, and role models (teachers, mentors, coaches, and youth group leaders) who are unprejudiced towards their mentality will help them not to fall prone to such vulnerable issues, which will lead to a healthy life ahead. It is also important to create safe spaces, communities especially in schools, where behavioural norms like these aren’t tolerant of abuse in dating relationships. This should create an impact that abuse and relationships like these will not be tolerated and having people understand healthy relationships is beneficial to one’s life.
Relationships are a means to grow, like how Bill Gates and Melinda are ready for divorce even after 27 years because they know that it’s not helping them grow. ( Read More: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-56975466 )
Norms helping normalising IPV should be stopped
What is one among the causes of such type of nature of adolescent relationships?
Relationships have recently been termed in several variations, individuals feeling have been neglected within the family, less appreciation from individuals around them, or peer pressure.
Within the twenty-first century, qualitative analysis remains as a thought of taboo. People tend to believe they’re with the respective person because of their immense love towards them, they believe this violent abusive relationship is normal. This normalcy has an adverse effect mentally & physically which isn’t right.
Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a period of your time, nobody will force you to be concerned in any reasonably intimate relationship, you shall have the ultimate power to say no and have the courtesy to comply with the partners call too. Communication must always be clear, no queries or mystery. Silence isn’t consent. (Read More: https://democraticnaari.com/2021/07/07/things-you-need-to-know-about-sexual-consent/ )
Whereas it’s difficult to establish the effectiveness of laws and policies in dynamic social attitudes, legislation that is implemented will send clear messages to society that violent behaviour isn’t acceptable. In addition, there are several agencies that facilitate the victims without the necessity of police intervention. Making available leaflets with details of such agencies and other useful advice, in public places such as malls, public transportation systems, and bathrooms may go a long way in improving the plight of the victims.
Organizations and Campaigns to help prevent IPV
- Each letter of RESPECT stands for one of seven strategies: (Read More: https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/WHO-RHR-18.19 )
- Relationship skills strengthening;
- Empowerment of women;
- Services ensured;
- Poverty reduced;
- Enabling environments (schools, work places, public spaces) created;
- Child and adolescent abuse prevented;
- Transformed attitudes, beliefs and norms.
- Love is not abuse the Love Is Not Abuse (LINA) Coalition is a growing national grassroots coalition of parents, teachers and ANYONE advocating for teen dating abuse education in every middle school and high school in the country.
- Things aren’t always what you seem campaign: Creeated by Break the cycle, the purpose of this campaign is to provide information to young people who are going through unhealthy and abusive situations in their relationships that they self-describe as “drama.” The goal of the campaign is to provide awareness and intervention information in private spaces like fitting rooms, lockers, changing rooms and even restrooms about the subtle forms of abuse or warning signs.
