Motherhood all love begins and ends here
Robert Browning
It is rightly said being a mother is the one of the best gift a woman can have, but it is not easy to be a mother moreover a “good mother” especially when you are a Single Mother, whether be a divorcee, widow or without marriage, a single mother is always questioned for her parenting. It takes a lot of courage to step into this world as a single mother but how to survive and thrive from this?
Being a single mother is not a cup of tea because you’ll always be looked upon like a weak female, with sympathy, your abilities will be questioned, your dignity will be challenged, you’ll face criticism and so much more, here are some challenges that a single mother faces.
1. As a Divorcee
Being a divorcee always brings a woman into a courtroom, her character is always questioned because in our country it is believed that a woman should always protect her marriage but there are times when two individual doesn’t’ get along or a woman could be a victim of domestic violence or any other reason could be a reason for the divorce but our society doesn’t care about this and surviving this becomes more challenging when there are children involved, a divorcee is always questioned on her parenting, her children’s values and her financial conditions.
2. As a widow
Being a widow is emotionally draining sometimes because the loss of your partner creates a void and distress and when there are children involved she is sympathized and people give her the title of ‘BECHARI’ and when she steps in to take up the responsibilities that are expected to be done by a man the society questions her capability of being a good mother.
3. As a mother without a marriage
Our society is very conservative when it comes to being a woman or a mother and moreover a single mother, and when you become a mother without marriage people think that woman is a characterless person, she does not have ethics, her children are characterless, she has gone insane.
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They mock them for everything but they don’t recognize their courage, there can be a lot of circumstances like getting pregnant and adoption, there are women who chose to abort or are forced to adopt their children, but it is their choice whether to keep or to abort the child and when she choose any one of them. She is seen with disgrace, people forget their struggle of bringing a child into the world and questions her dignity.
With all these challenges it becomes mentally difficult to find peace and survive these situations, one should know how to tackle these situations and how to thrive from these situations, here are some tips to survive and thrive.
1. Forget about society
If you keep thinking about what society will think about you and your children, you’ll lose your time for your children. Always remember this society will not be there with you in your good times and will only criticize you on your bad times and will try to take credit when you get successful. So don’t let them do that by caring what they think.
2. Be Financially independent
No work is small, a woman should always be independent especially when there are children involved, no matter what work you take up nobody can question you because you are not taking anyone’s money and this will even make your children proud and encourage them to be successful in their lives.
3. Always have time for your Children
Sometimes children face a hard time when they have a single mother, let them know that their mother is enough for them, let them know you are always there and let them know your courage, your story and always ask them about their life, whether someone is bullying them or not, be a strict yet a friendly mother whenever they need.
4. Keep yourself healthy
You should always keep yourself fit and healthy because you are the only parent your children have, now this doesn’t mean you should not enjoy your life but it means to avoid unnecessary things and bad habits like excessive drinking, smoking etc. this can create a negative impact on your children also.
5. Always have dignity and self-respect
There will be times when you will be in a situation when you can be asked to question your dignity or you could be in a relationship where your self-respect is questioned. Always remember you will never be alone, your children will always be with you and you have to think about your children first.
Leave the neighborhood if it isn’t a good one, break the relationship if your partner can not accept your kids or if that relationship is a toxic one, Always think of your and your children’s well-being.
There will be emotional breakdowns, stressful situations, sometimes even your children won’t understand but you can never be afraid of these things, have your courage make your children aware of what is right and what is wrong, let your kids know that their mother had proudly raised them alone without anyone’s support, bad times will not stay forever.
Proudly Say you are a ‘Single’ Mother, Thriving and surviving.
